Back in the fall of 2014, when I was still working at RHPL, I went through a phase of changing things up for a fitness program. I was still running, but I had been talking to my boss about HIIT, and he shared his love for P90x. I decided to buy the newest version at that time, the P90X3, because it was all about intensive workouts in 30 minutes. Great way to get your sweat on, if you can endure listening to Tony. ;-)
I went through the program, found it to be pretty good and then went back into my more normal routine, with running. However, I found that I really enjoyed the yoga workout, which was something I had never really explored, but curious about. The yoga workout became my go-to for strengthening and relaxation. I would do the workout a couple of times per week for cross training. In fact, I have been in the practice of using that workout, even with a portable dvd player when I travel for work these days, as a way to work out and focus and calm. I never thought I would enjoy it, nor feel the benefits of yoga until I started doing that workout.
I did a half marathon last Fall, the R&R Half here in Vancouver. I trained pretty hard for it, I was disciplined enough to only miss one long run, but managed to consistently run throughout. My goal for R&R was to bring my time down to 1:42, a time to be eligible for the NYCM. It felt like a bit of a big, hairy goal, but still something that was quite possible, as my running had greatly improved this past year. I ended up not hitting my goal, as I didn't pace properly that race, and missed by two minutes. A long shot in some regards, but still one of my fastest race times for a half.
Following that race, I took a few weeks off running and then the intent was to get back on and train for the First Half in February. I forgot to pack running shorts for our November Mexican vacation, and never got around to buying a pair so I could run. And then I came back and got sick, super busy with work and then just "LIFED." Training for that race was terrible, and it didn't help for the first time in decades, Vancouver had snow and lots of it all this winter. I've become temperamental as I get older for a lesser tolerance for running in terrible weather and I refuse to run on ice. So my training was... iced.
Somebody, somewhere was listening out there, as Mother Nature dropped down a bucketload of snow, resulting in the race being cancelled in the first time of its 28-year history. Internally I was thrilled. Emotionally, I was relieved as well as saddened, because I felt like I didn't know where to focus my energies next.
Since then, motivation for running has been all over the place. Work has been especially busy these past six months, and it has been almost a routine to start work at 6:30 in the morning because the office is 2-hour time change before it switched to 1 hour (the joy of working for a Saskatchewan-based company). It has been almost normal to work close to 10-12 hours daily. The result of this lifestyle has been less exercise, less me-time and feeling more depleted.
Turning 45 this year just four weeks ago has also seemed to also put me into a flux. The only way to describe it, is that I feel like I am having a mini mid life crisis. I feel tired, burnt out and not really motivated to look after myself. However, I am also very cognizant that what I do now physically, will reap huge rewards in feeling better, looking better and living longer. So I am mentally kicking myself in the butt.
It feels to some degree, that things have been coming to a head as of late. There is now only one hour time change, the mornings are brighter, making it easier to run. I am finally getting over being sick (I was hit with the stomach flu, followed immediately by a head cold that has lasted now over two weeks). Monday was an interesting but hard day, as it was the Boston Marathon. Looking at the photos, recalling the memories and thinking about how I passed the opportunity to register for this race this year seems to have rolled in and settled into my head.
I know that I just have to start showing up, lacing up and running out the door to start getting back into the habit. I guess I am just a little surprised at myself that it has been a little longer than it used to be to get back into the swing of things and get excited about running again. Maybe what I need to do is just be nice to myself, not pressure myself of what I should or shouldn't do, and things will happen. Of course it's not just magic, there is hard work involved.
So I am hoping this statement from Tony, "when you look up, the party changes," somehow sticks. It is such a throwaway statement, but for some reason, that sentence sits in my head following the yoga. When you look up, you see up. When you see up, you think up. And when you think up, you feel up and then you see everything around you changes, all for the better. Maybe that is a line that I read somewhere (feels that way, but can't remember for the life of me at 7:30 in the morning).
Up, up and away...
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